Bright Idea

The Unveiling

unveiled©ljs5172015

its a rhythm and a flow
within in every breath
i slowly began to let go
in waking life and in death

i took the blue pill
down the rabbit hole i went
now i can see what is truly real
and the lies i never meant

the light filtered through
my skin
it shined like new
and a new journey now begins

the light revealed
the truth
breaking the seal
covered in lies from my youth

i existed
and i was dead
i coexisted
within the lie that was said

i believed the lies of the blind
the lies of misguided souls
and i find
the truth as it unfolds

there has been a shift
i will never be the same
my heart smiles and lifts
the lies and earase the blame

i create the life i live in
i am responsible for all that is
so it is now that my life really begins
now i understand this

the darkness falls away
i reconnect above
now i enjoy each day
now i embrace love

now im no longer aloof
no longer isolated
i live and speak my truth
the pain has faded

we all have the power to be free
we all must love within
to be able to give it and be happy
time for a new world to begin

come with me down the rabbit hole
you dont need the blue pill
just love and forgive from your soul
then you'll be the beauty of what is real

©LJS05172025

New Way Chatter

It’s a world
Of #NewWayChatter
Social media whirl
Into things that do and don’t matter

It’s an age of selfies
Group and BBF selfies
You and the dog selfies
You driving the car selfie

Everything is fb this
Twitter that
Communication seems amiss
#WhatsThatMonkeyJugglingCat

It’s mainstream
Blinding overdose of words
So much technology mumbo jumbo screams
It’s hard to be seen let alone heard

Online market for business
Is booming and smart phones soar
Business for Facebook for that and this
What ever gets them more

My slim body tiny screen
Camera, phone, pc, tv, music, gaming
Social media link device
Has me over connecting

Im making friends through scrabble
Dating through an app
Speaking Turkish babble
Google search within a fingertap 

I’m loosing sleep
As my addiction is feed by technology
#ItsEndless
Time to post another selfie

©LJS04112015

He's My "It's Complicated" Guy

I set my alarm to wake me at six in the morning and I have decided tomorrow morning I will wake up, have breakfast, workout and walk the dog before I go to work. What could go wrong? My dog hops into bed and takes over the left side.  He looks at me, waiting for me.  I slip into bed next to him.

It’s nine o’clock and I close my eyes to drift to sleep.  Thoughts of the day pass through my mind.  I start reliving moments with customers that really bothered me.  I just try to clear my mind as it begins to stress me out.

Nine-thirty, I began thinking about Jim and  recall our fight we had a couple of days ago.  I begin to wonder why he hasn’t called to work it out.  Perhaps it’s for the best and I try to think myself into being single.  I’m on facebook on my phone.  I’m looking at my relationship status and I wonder if I should change it from being in a relationship to “it’s complicated”.

Ten o’clock, I realize I probably shouldn’t have drank that green tea right before going to bed. Off to the bathroom I go and I grab my phone, I check it and see I have a missed text.  It’s from Jim.  I can’t help but think he is my “it’s complicated” guy.   Nothing can be simple or easy with him.  Part of what attracts me to him and in the same it frustrates the hell out of me.  After three years with him, I thought it would be easier but now I wonder how compatable we really are.

I look at the clock glaring ten thirty and wonder why I can’t sleep?  Why did I look at my darn phone?!  Now I can’t stop thinking about him.  I am confused about us.  I am thinking about walking away for good.  I begin to feel frustrated I’m not asleep, frustrated I have to pee again and frustrated with Jim.

It’s midnight and I am almost done with writing and editing another chapter of my never ending book.   I pick up my phone again after I return from the bathroom….again!  I change my alarm to wake me at seven instead.  I decide I will have to walk the dog after work.  I start organizing my schedule for the week.  I cuddle with the dog who is trying to ignore me cause he is happily sleeping.

One in the morning and I am playing word with friends scrabble. I have 30 games.  I push back my alarm to eight in the morning.  I remember memories that seem unimportant, I’m not sure why I am thinking of them now.  The client from this morning that got under my skin replays in my mind.  I breath and focus on clearing out my thoughts again.  I remember the first time Jim kissed me.  How he pursued me relentlessly and now he goes almost two days without a word.  Just a text that doesn’t help clarify or resolve anything!  I feel we are not right for each other anymore.  I hate how this feels.  I’m frustrated I’m not asleep and I have to go to the damn bathroom again!

Two in the morning, I’ve given up all hope and pushed my alarm to ten.  I don’t have to be in the office until noon.  I will just skip my work out.  I pick up a book and read some. It perhaps was not the best choice, as it is filled with all sorts of interesting stuff and it is hard to stop reading, especially when things get steamy but then I start thinking of Jim again and feel sad and I miss being held by his big strong arms.  I miss how good he smells.  Then I realize my bladder is the size of a peanut.  How can one cup of green tea make me pee this much?!

Three o’clock, I decide take the dog out for a brief walk in my pjs after I pee.  I put on a coat and head out into the brisk morning with my dog in tow. Strange how quite the neighborhood is.  We get to the creek that runs through the neighborhood.  In the stillness I hear a croaking symphony of what sounds like a hundred bullfrogs.  My dog is happily on a mission to leave his mark and pays no attention to the slimey buggers.  He finds his spot next to the biggest toad I’ve ever seen.  The toad doesn’t move and keeps croaking. It’s a surreal moment.  I wonder if I did fall asleep.  I look up at the stars and they shine so brightly with a haze in the sky.  It looked like the Milky Way.   The moon is full and bright.  I push my two fingers into my other hand to see if they slip through my flesh.  They don’t, this is how I know I am still awake.  My dog has accomplished his mission and he happily walks me back to the house.  I think it was a perfect time to walk in my pjs and flip flops.  I take off my jacket.  My dog gets some water and food and I send a text to Jim as I head back to the dam bathroom.  I have decided to forgive him and tell him I miss his sexy ass and want to know when he will be available for some naughty fun with me?

Three-forty-five, I am in shock I am still awake as I am now back in bed laying in the dark and hating on my clock, as I stare it down.  The dog is fast asleep.  I feel like he has a super power of sleep, how does he do it?!

Four-fourteen, I lie there trying to mediate to calm my busy mind.  Shortly after I finally drift off.

Eleven in the morning I wake up, realizing I set my alarm wrong.  Now I’m late and I rush to get ready and be off.  I step in the shower.  I did not hear Jim come in.  He surprises me and slips into the shower.  He tells me he misses me and he is sorry.  I feel so happy in this moment and enjoy his lips as I taste relief and joy.  I feel his strong arms wrapped around my waste.  I decide to call in sick and spend the day in bed….with my “it’s complicated” guy.

©LJS03262015

Related

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The Bird and The TigerIn "Abstract"

Unconditional Love

She wanted to meet the love of her life, someone loving, fun, smart, dark and handsome and so she began to focus on nothing other than this.  Then one day a black stray dog crossed her path and she took him in.  Very quickly she bonded with him and found she could not let him go.

“I wanted to meet the love of my life!” She sighed as her sister and her were standing in her room and watched the dog hop onto her bed and take over the left side.

Her sister chuckled and walked over to the bed and sat next to him and began petting him as his tail wagged.

“Well at least he doesn’t sleep on your side of the bed and besides you did meet the love of your life and he is loving, fun, short, dark and all so handsome!”  She giggled as he began licking her face.

©LJS03302015

It Begins with You

We are the end and we are the beginning.  We are hope, we are love, we are the change for a new world.  It starts with ourselves.  To be more than our flaws and to embrace and amplify our love and our passions.  Take steps in the direction that feels right, that you enjoy, that you love and joy shall breath from you and positive inspiration shall affect all those you come in contact with.  Great positive transformations all start within ourselves.

@NaejAdnil03262015

Connection Seas Apart

When I close my eyes,
Unknown of what I will see,
To my surprise,
You stood before me.

Caress of my fingertips,
Tracing the contours.
Of your body, your lips,
You pulled me close wanting more.

Then my green eyes,
Open to an empty space,
I realize,
I crave you and to see your handsome face.

Connection across the sea,
Perhaps only fleeting this hope of something more,
After all you don't know me,
But I find it's you I adore.

Strange moments,
These we share,
I want to smell your scent,
I want to be there.

As we begin,
Something new,
My soft skin,
Embraced by you.

Laughing as we unwind,
Together we enjoy our day,
To imagine us entwined,
As lust finds it way.

Then my green eyes,
Open to an empty space,
I realize,
I crave you and to see your handsome face.

NaejAdnil(c)05112014

Simmer

There is a calm rush
Over the hidden rage
There is a fierce hush
That enters into the next stage

Quietly you go about it all
Thinking you have control
Until you hit the wall
And are ready to blow

You take in the moment
And many more like it
You remain silent
You let your frustration sit

You try to detach
You try to wait it out
But the fire ignites the match
Out comes the emotional shout

You thought you had such control
You thought you could be positive
You thought you had a grasp on the toll
You thought you could be happy and live

While it simmered
It remained and built up
In hope your rage shimmered
Until you were fed up

Out it made its ugly self present
At the most in opportune time just then
Unaware how unpleasant
Until your see the effects of your rage dig in

Spattered in words of painful expression
On the one you directed it too
Guilt filled from your loud confession
Of how your are fed up and threw

Why act now
Why couldn't I have spoken
Communicated earlier somehow
But now my lover is left wounded and broken

NaejAdnil(c)09072012

Unbind the Fear for Love

If only if it could be so easy
To love with no fear
No insecurities
To love you my dear

But echos wave in my thoughts
I cling on to
Past hurts where my heart was caught
As I become closer to you

It's not you at all
It's my self doubt and worry
My own past heartbreaks and falls
That now hold onto me

Like a web wrapped tight
I push and struggle through
For you my hope and desire fights
To welcome you

I breath you in
Like a new start
I have faith again
Feeling the joyful beats in my heart

Quiet the past that suffocates
The dangerous creative mind
False thoughts that intoxicates
Hope and heart beat to unbind

Muddle of incorrect perception
Should just think the best
Welcome you every time with positive reception
Time for my insecurities to rest

Settle the fears
Stand up tall
Allow myself to be loved and love you dear
Allow myself to fall

If only if it could be so easy
To love with no fear
No insecurities
To just unconditionally love you my dear

NaejAdnil(c)09062012

The Line that Flows

He is a strait line that flows
While I remain an abstract shape
Where he goes no one knows
While I am stuck between lines at my nape

Unique I thought I was until
I met him strait and narrow
Or north and south if he feels
He moves with the flow

But yet I'm constrained in a shape
None the less
Confined by human rules and red tape
Covered in my life's mess

So here he lays
I am left to wonder
If he chooses he leaves or stays
Not bent out of shape from his blunders

So perhaps the strait line is best
I think I need to know more
I will put him to a test
I lay next to his line on the floor

Without realizing
His line wrapped around my curves
It was quite surprising
As he moved and swerved

He had freedom to conform
To any which way
Any form
He choose that day

I may be a unique abstract
But my shape stays as it always has been
I lack
The ability to break free again and again

Confuse others on which way I may go
Perhaps I'm just a line and I need to try
Like him bend out of shape that I know
Shapes, abstract, tight, loose or wry

I am what I want to be
Go where I want to go
I am free
I am a curved, wavy, complete strait line that flows

His line next to mine
There we now are wrapped up together
We combine
To be something better

No longer caught
In a circle of a dimple
Who would ever thought
Free from something so simple

Now I wrap around and flow
I am what I want to be
I move fast or I can move slow
No more shapes to confine me

Entwined in a beautiful line
He and I as we move forward
Lyrical and rhythm combine
As we flow onward

NaejAdnil(c)09052012

The Emotionally Unavailable Man

So I get to that point where
It no longer matters
It's just then that my fear
Comes to life and scatters

I think love is just a game
Only some win
For me it's always the same
It's ends as quick as it did begin

Then the door opened before me
There he stood
Vision becomes too blurry to see
I stand there misunderstood

Distance and walls
Faced before my heart with every beat
Then he calls
I sink and give in to my defeat

I began to reach out
Only to find he would recoil
Isn't this what love IS NOT about
My heart fighting my inner turmoil

I pull back
He begins to chase me
The common sense fades to black
I find I can't just be happy

He lacks the ability to use his words
Silent stares and change of subject
I have never felt so unheard
Marked by the word reject

I know I never did anything to feel so empty
It's a past before him I realize
It's some insecurity feasting in me
He awakes it and I am left to summarize

Days go by
Without a phone call
I think it's over with this guy
But then it rings and I fall

Back into the rhythm of confused space
With an emotionally unavailable man
I felt defeated in this space
I've done all I can

I am left feeling deflated
Unable to connect
I patiently waited
But him I could not affect

The way he did affect me
In fact I guess he didn't feel a thing
He never wanted more with me
Just the bata bing and bata bang

Emotionally unavailable man why
Why mark me with your kiss
I now say goodbye
And question what exactly is it that I miss

NaejAdnil(c)8282012